Identify your passion- you relationships will benefit and so with YOU!

If you had just one minute to tell someone what your true passion is…could you do it? It’s important to talk to God about showing you what He designed you for. You have to discover your passions in life, its vital to your happiness, and for you to walk in your calling.  One of the most amazing things you’ll ever experience as you incorporate  passion into your daily life is the unexpected joy you begin to feel in all area’s of your life that seemed mudane before. Passion ignites a fire inside of you, it gives you that extra motivation to accomplish more, and when you feel like your life has purpose and direction  you feel more complete, you feel more fulfilled .  Thats why it affects all your relationships! You are a happier, more content person to be around, you’ll find you have more strength, patience and understanding with those around you. People who have passion for something in their life also tend to be less co-dependent and “needy”, they have tapped into the things that God has given them a passion for and feel a sense of living for something other than themselves.

So make it a point in your life to focus on discovering what your passionate about and then move in a direction that lines your life up with living more passionately.  You’ll become a healthier person and so will all your relationships!

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Happy Resurrection!

Good Morning to THE RELATIONSHIP MATTERS BLOG and all the wonderful people who faithfully come to this site. I hope today brings you a new revelation of just what Jesus did on the cross for us all, and that because of that revelation you realize you can be set FREE! Happy Resurrection to all!!

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Try Something New

Trying Something New as a Strategy  

Ever hear the phrase: If you always do what you’ve always 
done, you’ll always get what you’ve always got?
You can drive yourself insane wondering why nothing ever changes. In fact, the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result. You must first decide that you want change, you want something different, and you are just sick and tired of the same thing.  You may just be ready to try something new.
It’s so easy to get comfortable in our lives; going to work every day, then the gym, then make dinner, then bed etc. etc. Trying something new can really impact your life in a good way. It can boost your mood, and be motivating to your life.  Trying something new will break you out of the mundane and create change in your life. Change is Good! God wants you live it the fullest! Don’t get stuck in a rut!

Here are some ideas to get you started on something NEW today!

Challenge yourself physically, take a dance class, yoga class, go hiking, get a massage, treat yourself to a spa day, run on the beach, take a cooking class, eat healthier foods, take vitamins, get a new pillow, lift weights, take up a sport, get a pedicure, buy a new outfit or entire wardrobe, get a new haircut. Do something you do not usually do.
Look at things differently, examine the positive sides of situations, focus on having the mind of Christ and look for positive solutions instead of problems, stay out of conversations you do not like, make conversations with new people, take deep breaths during the day, pray more, read the bible longer, learn a new subject, set new goals, write a book for fun, start a new career or side job. Expand your mind to things you don’t normally do and try new ways of thinking and seeing things.
Inject the joy of the Lord in your life, play with a baby, puppy, kitten, go on a romantic date, slow dance, get out in nature, enjoy a new social activity, play a game, redecorate your home/space, go to the ocean or a park, go dancing, see a play, movie, musical, do something nice for someone else. Find things that make you smile and feel good inside that you don’t normally go to.

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Is failing really failing?

Moses almost missed his opportunity because he was looking at his lack of qualifications instead of looking at the Qualifier-God Almighty. Don’t do the same! Don’t miss out on life and all that you are meant to be.God has a lot planned for you. Change your perspective;Your failures are just taking you one step closer to your destiny…..!

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Why do I always have to say I’m sorry…

Relationship Tip:

Why do I always have to be the one to apologize?!! This issue comes up quit often when I’m mentoring.  I’ve even felt the same way in my own life. “why do I always have to be the one to say I’m sorry?”, “why can’t he ever just be the one to do what’s right?.”   This battle in our mind causes us to wait way to long for their apology first. As a result, we can go a long time before getting any resolution in our relationship. Sound familiar? Of course it does.  The main thing we have to remember  when we find ourselves in an argument is that God rewards the peace maker.  It’s important to remember that if you just keep doing things God’s way, He see’s our heart, and your reward will come from Him. Remember that next time and it will help you to avoid feelings of resentment.
Here’s my relationship Tip: Don’t wait!
If your able to be the peace maker in the situation and have the spiritual maturity to do so, then apologize! You may feel like the other person is wrong but I guarantee you that you played a role in that argument. Do you want to be right, or do you want your marriage full of peace, harmony and unity? The devil’s main tactic is to divide, don’t let him win.  Remember there are millions of divorced people who were “right!”  It’s not going to kill you to be the first to apologize. In fact, it’s going to reveal the depth of God’s love in your heart and I promise, it will turn your relationship around little by little. Choose to be the peace maker and watch God bless you!!
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You know those people you come across in life that just have that SPARK?  They light up a room, make you feel like you’re the only person on earth?  They listen, they love, they encourage, they’re happy, they take special interest in you?  They enjoy life, even in the mundane?  They always have a smile on their face and a song in their heart?  They say “Hi” every time they pass a person and really NOTICE others (instead of what most of us do…eyes down, too rushed and insecure to make eye contact and smile)?  I love those people!  I love them because even though life is hard, even if they’re having a bad day, they CHOOSE to find the good.  They make the CONSCIOUS DECISION to be happy and make others happy.  I believe these people are TRUE leaders.  Each and every day, choosing to exude positive energy.  Most of the time, these people know WHO THEY ARE and are operating within their natural strengths, which makes joy just pour from their soul!

So, do you have that SPARK?  Why or why not?  I challenge you to find only positive things to focus on tomorrow!  Speak only words of affirmation to others.  Smile at a stranger.  And, if you don’t have that SPARK, I invite you to start taking steps today to begin to ignite it!

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The quickest way to NOT get heard

Do you say the things you think/feel/believe in a very direct and blunt way?  Regularly? This is something I’ve had to learn in my own relationships, especially with my husband. I’ve made the mistake of thinking that by being direct and forward I’m just being honest and you are just not in way that helps.

If you ‘ve done the same thing then you’ve also made the common mistake about honesty.

You see, you have probably learned somewhere that it is “best” to “be honest” and “direct” with those you care about.  And you took that to mean you need to tell them everything in the most upfront way you can.  You think you are doing them a favor. But your spouse will feel like your beating them with a 2×4.

The mistake I had been making  in my relationship was that I wasn’t  using tact along with honesty and if you don’t use love and tact with your comments and words then your “frank” honesty  will be to difficult for the other person to receive because it’s just to harsh.

We are always told that speaking up for yourself and getting yourself heard is effective communication but if you don’t communicate things with a  gentle spirit then  nothing you say will be received by your spouse anyway, it’s to much to bear.

If you want to be heard you have to speak up in a way that will get you heard.  This means using tact.

You see tact isn’t sugar coating something or editing it until it has no meaning.  Tact comes from the Latin word meaning “to touch.”  What it allows you to do is truly touch the other person with your meaning.   In other words, you use your skills, Gods revelation,  good judgment, and perceptions to say things in such a way your partner can hear and understand you.

Sometimes this means being really straightforward but not all the time.   If you use this one way to speak your truth all the time, you won’t be heard all the time.

It’s a powerful skill to develop but requires thinking on our part more than just blurting words out with out any thought behind them.  Learning to be tactful will greatly attribute to the health of your relationship.  It’s part of the art of communication.   Think of being honest and being tactful as going hand in hand.  Be open in a “skillful” way so your honesty can be heard and your talks will actually move your relationship forward instead of tearing it down. 🙂

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